Wednesday, April 27, 2011


I spent a lot of time lounging by the pool while I was on vacation... and some of that time was spent reading "The Five Love Languages of Teenagers".  I know very clearly as a mother that when my oldest son is acting out, what he really needs is to feel loved.  I am also a believer that we all feel loved in different ways - the theory behind The Five Love Languages.

It was a very insightful read.  I have come away with a realization that in order to thrive as a parent, I have a lot of work to do.  First on that order of business is to determine individually for each of my children, how they feel love.  There are five "languages" that Dr. Chapman talks about in his book.
#1 - Words of Affirmation
#2 - Physical Touch
#3 - Quality Time
#4 - Acts of Service
#5 - Gifts

Although is is important to express our love in all of these ways - one of these will be the primary way in which our child feels loved. 

When the kids were younger I had read "The Five Love Languages of Children".  I will say that will all my 'surviving' I did not do a very good job at loving them effectively.  One of the most important take-aways I have from this last book is to realize that even if I thought I had figured out how to love them before, it all changes once they are teenagers.

Once I get passed step one... I need to learn about how to deal with my anger, my kids anger, teaching independence and responsibility, effectively loving them when they fail and the special challenges associated with Single Parenting.

It will be a process... but a process worth enduring, as I strive to THRIVE!!

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