About K.J.

I was 29 when I was widowed. A mother of three beautiful children. Two boys and one girl. They are precious and they have allowed me and inspired me to keep living... keep playing. I don't have a college degree... And I didn't have a life insurance policy. It has been six years since the passing of my husband. Every year I seem to mourn the years gone by. I lost my job as of January 1. It is a blessing.. a blessing of time. Time to get life in order and get on the right track.

In the movie P.S. I Love You... A year after her husband's passing she is thriving. She has the job of her dreams and is on a solid path. I feel as though I have wasted years just surviving and I am missing out on the thriving. But, that is not entirely true. The past six years have given me experiences that have stretched me and helped me grow (Diary of a Widow). Now it is time though... now I need to break out of what has become a crazy cycle and really live the life I was meant to live.

I am careful in that thinking though. I think of a favorite musical of mine.. Polly. I love this because I can relate to it. Polly wants to be a 'mover and shaker'. The musical tells the story of her life.. a life she feels is just ordinary. I know I sometimes feel like life is ordinary.. full of trials and missing elements of a fantastic career that I crave. Polly lives her life, following God's plan for her and feels like she lived a good life - but missed out on being the "mover & shaker" she so desired to be. But, she didn't really. That is the lesson I love in it. She was an ordinary woman... Who lived an extraordinary life. A life she didn't realize would be being talked about so many years later. I think that is true with many of us. When we pass to the other side and are able to look down at the big picture of our life... of how our actions and choices affected others... we will see a pattern of infiltration into the world we did not realize we made. Each of us is a domino.. and each decision we make creates that domino effect.  My true wish in my life is for my decisions to be ones that leave a mark of good on the world..  to be an instrument in the Lord's hands.  Let Him play the music.  Let me be humble and listen close enough to be on the right notes.  By so doing.. I will naturally be Everyday THRIVING!