SO EXCITED

It is 8pm on a Saturday night... I am driving home from the grocery store with scores of lettuce and carrots and all kinds of veges and ice cream... for the kids.  I am starving and I can't wait for the 2 minute drive to pass so I can make myself something yummy.  I was at the grocery store and saw my favorite spaghetti sauce was on sale.  I can't afford to buy it unless it is a BOGO deal... and it was.  The ingredients are all things I can eat on my diet and I love it.  But, pasta is a no-no right now... so I found some artichokes.  Artichokes with pasta sauce HAS to taste like pasta??  My mouth was watering.  Yes, the diet is going that well.  The good news is, except for my daily cheats (a few french fries today) I am actually sticking to it - which is huge for me.

It was a long day today.  I didn't get accomplished anything I wanted to.  By 2pm I was frustrated to the point of tears.  I had the thought that it was essentially the result of putting everyone else first above me.  It was true.  My first reaction was that I need to do better at saying no and putting me first... but then when I thought one by one of the things I had done, I changed my attitude.  I don't regret any of it and there is time for my things later.

So, I am tired tonight... long day.  I am going to curl up on the couch and watch Revenge of the Bridesmaids with the kids... while I eat artichokes and pasta sauce.

MOVING FORWARD

I had a few bites of bread and 3 hot tamales that were not on the diet yesterday.  The scale seems down some... but a little questionable.  Really the number showing is the number I saw on this day.  But it has been there for two days now (previously it was only there for one day).  My calorie intake for yesterday was 1224.

I am facing some "work" obstacles in my mind... as I look toward going back to work.  Can I work in a job that I don't find fulfilling and still find myself thriving?  Hmmmm... I believe there has to be a way.  We can not always be in our dream situation at all times... but that should not stop us from feeling that sense of thriving internally.  I am troubled by this today and will certainly be spending some more time on it.

Today and tomorrow will be days of spiritual renewal.... We have a church conference - so I have 8 hours of inspiration on the way.  I am looking forward to it and I am looking forward to setting some goals in my life in this area.

CHEATER, CHEATER, PUMPKIN EATER

OK... so I didn't eat any pumpkin today... but I did cheat.  I am trying... but I am weak. 

I drank a glass of diet pop.  It was a conscious decision... and I think it kept me from the hot tamales.  :)  AND the one I feel badly about is the bite of ice cream cake I took.  I know, I know.. I sit hear asking myself... Do you not want this time to be successful? Yes, I do.  I will be stronger.  I passed on a lot of temptation today and I really think I am getting stronger.  Tomorrow will be difficult as I am not going to be home all day.  I have already packed me a bunch of food to eat.  Perhaps it will be easier... but I guess I just worry about trying to find healthy food if I am starving and not home.

Overall I really am proud of myself.  I really did quite well for me.  Calorie intake for the day was 1120 (typically I have been around 1800 for the past few months). My general attitude toward losing weight is that I will continue to eat what I want (within reason) and just exercise more.  Well... I have been burning about 2700-3000 calories a day as my target and it wasn't doing it for me.  Different times.... different ways I suppose.  I have not been on the treadmill now for a week.  But I am still active during the day (in fact my average calorie burn is only down 100 or so) AND also important to my goal is I am sleeping ~ 7hrs. 13mins. last night (Sixth day in a row I did over seven hours!! Can you tell I wear a Bodymedia??).

I feel good about other aspects of my life for the most part... I have the slightest unsettled feeling in one area... I need to focus there and find out what is up.  I am still job hunting, and feel fine about not having anything yet.  I had an interview on Monday and have a follow-up scheduled with the company in a week and a half.  I have been focusing better as a mother.  My house is in semi-order but I need to attack some hot spots.

I am on a good track.. I just need to stay on track.  THRIVING here I come!!!

DISCIPLINE

My son turned 16 today... but just for the record.... I am younger than S.M. :)

I decided to start the diet today.  I have discipline in a lot of areas of my life... but controlling my food wants is not one.  I had about 10 Hot Tamales (a favorite), some Chinese food (not a favorite - but I couldn't control myself), and a sliver of Coldstone Creamery Ice Cream cake(ohhh so good).

Tomorrow I will do better.  I know I will not lose any weight until I really shake up my eating habits.  I need to quit messing around and do it now.  I have been talking about it for YEARS.  Enough.  It is one of two areas that is really hampering my ability to feel as though I am thriving.

EATING MY WORDS... AND A FEW OTHER THINGS I SHOULDN'T

I really swore I was not going to go on a diet.  I just wanted to change my eating habits... well change as I may I have not gotten anywhere.  So, I am relinquishing... I am joining S.M. and heading for the diet.  Really, I think the diet may break me out of my bad habits of candy in the afternoon and too many carbs.  But, this will require me to stay devoted to it for two weeks (that is my goal).  Of course I am really not even sure I can make it one day.  I thought I would start today - but since I started with something not on the diet.. even though S.M. told me I could start half-way through a day the lunch choice of Mexican food was way off as well... so tomorrow.  I promise.  I think.  Another thing for two weeks.... SLEEP.  They even had a report on the news this morning that it aids in weight-loss.  So... here I go.

Working on another project today that has been sitting in my garage since August.  Painting a coffee table I picked up at a yard sale.  I also fixed the wreath I had on my front door.  It was starting to look a little un-loved and homeless.  It is better now. :0)  Really love getting these things done.

AND.... had a voicemail today from the doctor's office.  Ummmm... blood work. good.  xray. good.  CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY MY FOOT HURTS AND WHY MY DOCTOR IS NOT CONCERNED?? Pain seems like a bad thing to me.  It is like the body telling me to stop.  ???  So, I guess I better hit the treadmill today.

Doctor Doctor

S.M. went to the doctor this week and so did I. I then went and got blood work done and an xray on my foot.

I tell you this only because it is part of the physical you. It is part of thriving. I have had my eye appointments, dental appointments, pap, and mammogram. I feel on top of my health.. and THAT is a good thing.

Going to paint today and check that off my list of things to do.