Piece by Piece

All the children have been removed from our cell plan and put on their own pre-pay plan.  They don't really get what just happened to them... I am certain of it.  Well... perhaps one or two understand. 

I created a spreadsheet entitled... "Chores For Hire".  I want them to have everything they want in life.   I just want them to learn that they just have to work to have it!

One step closer to ending the entitlement attitude!

:)  Happy Day!

Hmmmm.....

I have been on a bit of a soap box lately... kinda.  One morning last week, I was at my last straw with the kids.  It has been said time and time again that this generation is Entitled.  I am sick of it!  My job is NOT to be at your beck and call whenever you want to go somewhere or do something!

I went to work and my mind reflected on a book I had seen advertised as "coming soon" a few months ago. I hopped on Amazon.com and typed in... The Entitlement Trap  The book I had remembered came up and I decided there was no way I was just going to place an order.  In my own... must have it now kind of way... I wanted to know NOW how to make this stop!  So, I downloaded Kindle for computer and bought the book.  I am HOOKED!!  I highly recommend it.  My husband is still a little shell shocked as I have insisted that we cancel all the kids' cell phones and cease immediately to ever hand over cash or accept "I'll pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" type metality.  I want to create a family mission statement, laws, economy and immerse the children in service.

Read the book.  Really.  It is changing my view in a big big way!

PARENTING

I spent a lot of time lounging by the pool while I was on vacation... and some of that time was spent reading "The Five Love Languages of Teenagers".  I know very clearly as a mother that when my oldest son is acting out, what he really needs is to feel loved.  I am also a believer that we all feel loved in different ways - the theory behind The Five Love Languages.

It was a very insightful read.  I have come away with a realization that in order to thrive as a parent, I have a lot of work to do.  First on that order of business is to determine individually for each of my children, how they feel love.  There are five "languages" that Dr. Chapman talks about in his book.
#1 - Words of Affirmation
#2 - Physical Touch
#3 - Quality Time
#4 - Acts of Service
#5 - Gifts

Although is is important to express our love in all of these ways - one of these will be the primary way in which our child feels loved. 

When the kids were younger I had read "The Five Love Languages of Children".  I will say that will all my 'surviving' I did not do a very good job at loving them effectively.  One of the most important take-aways I have from this last book is to realize that even if I thought I had figured out how to love them before, it all changes once they are teenagers.

Once I get passed step one... I need to learn about how to deal with my anger, my kids anger, teaching independence and responsibility, effectively loving them when they fail and the special challenges associated with Single Parenting.

It will be a process... but a process worth enduring, as I strive to THRIVE!!